7 Ways to improve your communication skills

Whether we like it or not, communication is an essential part of our daily life. At work, at home, at school, in the streets or at the doctor’s office, effective communication is necessary to successfully build relations with other people. Especially since the pandemic and the lockdowns many of us have been struggling with how to communicate our ideas and thoughts effectively, since so much of the day to day life was pushed online and behind a camera. Communication is a skill, it can be learned and improved with practice and guidance, but it can also be forgotten and neglected, very fast.

I wouldn’t call myself a communication genius, but who is? In this article we will explore some practical tips and “strategies” to help you survive the elevator chit chat with your colleagues and to convey your message more clearly to others. I have added an example for each point, as it might help you visualise the tips better.

1. Practice empathy

This might be a bit more challenging to some. The key to being a great communicator is not to learn how to mimic a friendly and warm conversation, but it’s to actually become a warm and friendly person. There are enough books on how to “win friends and influence people”, but I’d rather talk to someone who’s genuinely interested in what I have to say, rather than wasting my time on a colleague who is following a 10 step program on how to manipulate people into liking them. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, by putting yourself in someone else’s shoes you’ll be able to connect on a deeper human level and to communicate more effectively.  

2. Listen

Communication should take the form of a free flow of information between two or more people. If you want to understand the person in front of you, you should do something that seems obvious: listen. There is a fine line between listening and waiting for your turn to talk, and to be honest I’ve found myself on both sides during a conversation.

E.g., If someone close to you has experienced a recent breakup you can show that you care by maintaining eye contact or asking questions to clarify how they feel, without making yourself the centre of the conversation.

3. Keep it simple

Keep it simple, short and direct. If you feel unsure about the message you want to convey, try to avoid “bulking it up” by using complex sentences, jargon or anything that might confuse and mislead the person you’re talking to.

E.g., If you are explaining something to a person or a class, make your point verbally or visually appealing to an audience. Your goal should be communicating your message, and not trying to “impress” the people around you with your knowledge of a certain topic. Nobody likes to be lectured at a party at 3am.

4. Use your body

Nonverbal cues such as facial expression, body language and the tone and volume of your voice can communicate more than words alone. Be aware of how your body moves and how your voice and position change, you might find out that people respond differently once they feel you’re reacting “appropriately” to what they’re saying. 

E.g., Smiling, nodding, maintaining eye contact and using appropriate gestures can help you appear more welcoming, warm and interested. P.S. You might not be comfortable with prolonged eye contact or other forms non-verbal communication, and that ‘s totally ok! That’s why this list has 4 other tips.

5. Don’t be afraid of feedback

This approach is easier to apply to a professional or academic environment, but if you feel comfortable asking for feedback from friends on day-to-day interactions, more power to you! By asking for feedback from trusted friends or colleagues you’ll be able to identify what could be improved and how to refine your communication skills.

E.g., Ask for help and support from a colleague after a presentation and use their input to improve. Feedback, especially from someone who’s not in your demographic, could open your eyes on many aspects of your communication style. 

6. Keep an open mind

Even when diving into a conversation with someone you know you might disagree with, try to be open to different perspectives and ideas. Ask questions, go into the details together and you might be surprised of where the conversation might take you.

E.g., Don’t be afraid to discuss communication problems such as cultural, language and emotional differences and barriers. Learning to focus on common goals and adapting your communication style to the situation is a great way to refine your skills.

7. Avoid making assumptions

Try not to make assumptions when you meet someone as they might be based on stereotypes, ignorance or wrong information. Approaching people with an open mind and the willingness to learn about them as individuals is a way to get a conversation started and to show others that we value and respect them as individuals. 

In conclusion, effective communication skills are essential for success both in personal and professional contexts.I’ve outlined 6 points that might help you come out of your shell both at work and in your day-to-day encounters. Listening, nonverbal communication, respect and continuous learning are all important strategies that can help anyone become a better communicator, but don’t come looking for me if your crush won’t text you back.