Life Goals

10 ways to get out of your comfort zone

There is nothing inherently bad about being and making the conscious decision to stay in your comfort zone.

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The comfort zone is a set of habits, self-imposed rules, and beliefs that feels familiar and, well, “safe”. It usually involves actions that make you feel at ease and won’t put you in a situation of high stress or a state of high perceived risk. You’ve probably done, seen, said, ate this particular thing over and over again, which means you know what the probable outcome is going to be, and while low risk usually means no stress, it can also mean low or nonexistent reward.

Given the low risk – low reward characteristics of the comfort zone, by staying inside of it there is not much incentive for people to venture outside of it. And without much incentive to explore the unknown outside of the beaten track, growth slows down tremendously. You might look back at the last months of your life and realise you’ve not developed new skills or met new people – why is that so? One of the reasons might be that you keep refusing to engage in new experiences. Whether we’re talking about personal, emotional or professional growth, the main ingredient to breaking free from your cosy safe spot is to let yourself feel uncomfortable and awkward.

Let’s go through some ideas on how to achieve that:

1. Do everyday things differently

Strive to break out of your everyday routine – challenges to your comfort zone can come from the most menial activities. Walk slower in your neighbourhood, call your friends instead of messaging them, have a chat with a stranger while ordering your mid-morning coffee.

2. Expand your creativity

Creating any form of art, whether it is a painting or poetry, feels strange if you’re not used to it. How many times have we heard someone nervously mutter “I’m no artist”, while sketching something on a piece of paper or the blackboard at school? Having someone, or ourselves, judge something we’ve crafted would make anyone nervous, and that’s good.

3. Learn something new

By focusing on new tasks you’ll be entering the learning zone! As they say “The expert has failed more times than the amateur has even tried”. Trying new things and developing new skills will help you build confidence and reconnect with parts of yourself you might have ignored up to that point.

4. Face Physical Changes (if you can)

If you are physically able to, try something that stimulates your body as well as your mind. Starting a new sport or switching up your fitness routine you’ll start to embrace your body’s ability to adapt and overcome short and long term change.

5. Pick a challenge for yourself

If indecisiveness makes you anxious and impulsivity is not your jam, pre plan! Picking a challenge you know will make you uncomfortable gives you the headspace to decide how to do it and why. And if pre-planning is your safe space, do the exact opposite of what I’ve just said.

6. Try to find out why doing XYZ differently is a challenge to you

Once you’ve picked your challenge, try to deconstruct your fears behind said action. Why does talking to strangers scare you? Why does talking to your crush make you so uncomfortable? Why can’t you just stop eating the same dish over and over again – Is there anything else for me on this menu except Sweet and Sour Chicken? If you feel overwhelmed, and believe that you can’t overcome these underlying issues by yourself it might be helpful to talk to a specialist about it.

7. Break things into smaller tasks

Big leaps might be scary, keep in mind that change is not linear and failure will always be a possibility. If the fear of failure and setbacks makes you shy away from trying new things, it might be profitable to pick the challenge that is closest to the outer “layer” of your comfort zone and act upon it.

8. Small steps, but give yourself an ultimatum

As we just said, you don’t have to do it all at once: take small steps but try to push yourself in that direction. Don’t let the “meh I’ll do it, but maybe next time” little voice in your head distract you. It might take 5 minutes or 6 months to achieve your goal, push yourself into following your own deadlines.

9. Look around you

Look for support around you, and most importantly strive to seek supportive like-minded individuals that will uplift you and provide helpful feedback. I’m not saying to surround yourself with “yes-men” and to cut the criticism out of your life, but pessimism and harsh critics can kill one’s enthusiasm very fast – especially early in the learning stage when you might be feeling very exposed. Try to find someone that might inspire you to go the extra mile, whether it’s online or in real life.

10. Practice Honesty

Honesty and self-reflection are tremendous tools for personal growth. Honest conversations with yourself or with people in your social circle will always make you somewhat uncomfortable, sharing private information, thoughts, dreams, and fears make us feel judged, yet might provide us the new perspective we need to deepen our relationship with ourselves or others.

In conclusion

There is nothing inherently bad about being and making the conscious decision to stay in your comfort zone. Psychologist Abraham Maslow once wrote that “you will either step forward into growth, or you will step backward into safety.”
The choice is yours, but if you feel unhappy with the stage you’re finding yourself in then maybe challenging yourself, and even failure, might be better than slacking on the couch.

Laura Ghiretti
February 2023