Conflict resolution: strategies for maintaining harmony

We all have to deal with conflict in our personal and professional lives. Conflict and drama can arise from everywhere and everyone, friends or flatmates, coworkers, and random people in your circle. Knowing how to resolve conflicts effectively is the key to maintaining harmony and avoiding long-term damage. It’s interesting to see how different generations approach conflict resolution, especially between Gen Z and Millennials.

Understanding Conflict: Why It Happens

It’s often a case of people not understanding each other, or having different goals or values. For instance, in personal relationships, it could be as simple as one person having different expectations or perspectives to the other. In the workplace, conflicts can happen because of communication issues, different work styles, or even generational differences in how tasks are approached. The aim of conflict resolution isn’t to avoid disagreements, but to handle them in a way that makes relationships stronger and encourages collaboration.

How to Deal with Conflict in a Way That Works for You

It doesn’t matter whether you’re dealing with a personal issue or an office disagreement, here are some strategies that have been shown to work well for resolving conflicts and maintaining harmony.

1. Active Listening

One of the most important things in resolving conflicts is listening. It’s easy to get carried away and focus on making your point, but it’s more effective to listen to the other person’s perspective first. This shows you respect their feelings and makes it easier to have a constructive conversation.

I’ll give you an example from my own experience. If you’re having a disagreement with a colleague, don’t immediately jump to defending your position. Instead, ask them to explain their side fully. Say something like, “I’d like to understand your perspective better.” This helps to calm things down and get the conversation back on a positive track.

2. Find Common Ground

In most cases, there’s usually some common ground that can be used to find a solution to a conflict. If we can see this, we can shift the focus from the problem to a solution that works for everyone.

3. Stay Calm and Be Respectful

It’s important to stay calm when emotions run high because it helps to find a solution that works for everyone. Take a moment to calm down, let the other person finish, and try to find a way to make things better. Even when you disagree, respecting the other person’s perspective helps keep the dialogue healthy.

Here’s an example of how it could work in practice: If there’s a disagreement in a meeting, it’s important to stay professional. Instead of getting defensive, you could say something like, “I appreciate your input, and I’d like to take a moment to think about how we can address both of our concerns.”

4. Use “I” Statements

One of the quickest ways to defuse conflict is to use ‘I’ statements instead of ‘You’ statements. Saying “I feel…” instead of “You always…” moves the focus from blaming the other person to sharing how their actions affect you, which feels less accusatory.

I’ll give you an example from my own experience. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try saying, “I feel like I’m not being heard when I’m trying to express myself.”

5. Focus on Solutions, Not the Problem

If you dwell on a problem for too long, it can be harder to move forward. Instead of going over the same old issues, focus the conversation on finding a solution.

If you and a colleague have a disagreement, try saying something like, “I understand where we’re both coming from, so let’s figure out what we can do differently moving forward.”

Gen Z vs. Millennials: A Generational Divide in Conflict Resolution

Millennials: Collaborative and Process-Oriented
Millennials, having grown up in a world where collaboration was a big deal, often like to stick to a more process-oriented approach. They usually like to stick to a more structured approach, and they often prefer to deal with disagreements in a formal setting, like a meeting or a mediation session. They might schedule a one-on-one chat or bring in HR or a mediator when conflicts arise at work. They believe that having clear processes leads to better outcomes.

Gen Z: Direct and Tech-Savvy
Gen Z, on the other hand, tends to prefer a more direct and tech-driven approach to conflict resolution. Gen Z grew up with technology, so they’re used to using it to communicate quickly and transparently. Rather than setting up formal meetings, they might deal with conflicts through direct messaging platforms or even emails. They appreciate honesty and directness, so they’re more likely to tackle problems head-on rather than letting them fester.